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Do Kenyan Men Love, Respect and Cherish Their Women?

Do Kenyan men hate their women? Radio host Renee Ngamau thinks so. In a Facebook post, she says she is convinced that Kenyans do not love their women. Specifically, she says that Kenyan men hate their women.

She concludes that “Kenyan men do not love, cherish, respect or protect their women.” However, how true is that?

Kenyan men dominate media discussions

She begins by saying,

After living here for near 4 years and counting, I am convinced Kenyans do not love their women. Look at conversations about women.

She proceeds to say the following,

Look at how the Kenyan media, which is dominated by male editors, reports or commentates on issues involving women.

The conversation about the male dominance in the media industry is a continuous issue. It picked momentum after this article by Nanjira Sambuli. She questions the unequal representation of women in conferences, newsrooms, and boardrooms alike.

Nanjira calls the all-male panels ‘manels’ because men dominate them. She says that perception matters a lot and ‘manels’ portray women as lacking qualifications to take part in panel discussions. Thus, Renee Ngamau hits the nail on the head when she also talks about this unequal representation of women in the media.

Kenyan men direct the narrative about women

The perception here is also not only about ‘manels’ but also about who tells the narrative about women. Kenyan men dominate the conversations about women. Renee Ngamau continues,

If you are to follow the majority of the commentary, Kenyan women are wrong for being too pretty, too ugly, too stylish, too urbane, too rural, too ambitious, too young, too old, too rich, (and) too poor.

Thus, several discussions about women in the Kenyan media portray them in bad light. I saw Dr. Wandia Njoya criticize an interview by a former female news anchor on a local TV station. The interview was a panel discussion with an invited audience of young people.

The issue that took centre stage in the discussion was that girls get too much focus than the boys. On her Facebook page, Wandia said that the show undermined the girl child. She went on to say that it made women feel guilty for their success. She said the show wanted women to apologize for being successful.

Women are wrong about pregnancy, childbirth, single parenthood, abortion

Renee Ngamau continues to say the following about women,

They are wrong for taking care of children that men abandon. They are wrong for not taking care of them. They are wrong for having unwanted babies. They are wrong for aborting them.

On this one, I will bring an article I wrote about why criminalizing abortion in Kenya is anti-women.

First, I ask, do women get themselves pregnant? Second, I said that denying women the right to choose what they want to do with their bodies endangers their lives. This is especially when they have a pregnancy that they do not wish to keep. Yet, those who pretend to care so much about the unborn disappear when the unborn is born.

Again, we live in a society that still frowns upon single mothers. The majority will say that a woman cannot teach her child how to be a man. Yet the man who should take that responsibility is deadbeat.

The woman never got herself pregnant. It was an act of sexual intercourse between a man and a woman. Yet, despite all the effort the woman puts in raising the child, she is wrong in the eyes of most people.

Women and positions of authority

Renee goes on to say that women…

They are wrong for heading corporations, running businesses.

This reminds me of certain people’s perception of women in authority at work. Let us take a typical workplace with a woman as a manager. When the boss is angry (the woman), some people will first think she is on a “dry spell”. In addition, others will associate the anger with mood changes that result from Premenstrual syndrome (PMS).

That is when you will hear some whispering that she should go “get some” to cool her nerves. Yet, they never say the same about a man. Such comments and behaviour undermine women in leadership.

It is also a fact that men dominate the top positions of many corporations in the country. They also dominate major boardrooms. When women ask for gender equality in these positions, some men claim that the positions are not handouts and women should sweat for them.

Alternatively, if the women get these positions, it is blamed on favouritism or tokenism.

Young women and the ‘sponsor’ tag

Renee continues to say women…

They are wrong for getting married, for getting divorced. They are especially evil when older men prey on them and have affairs with them. They are wrong when they reject the advances. They are wrong when they accept the advances.

Today, it is very difficult for a young woman to walk with a man way beyond his youth. People will automatically perceive the man to be the girl’s “sponsor”. They will say the man bankrolls the girl’s lifestyle. Some of that happens though in real life but that is not the point.

They portray women who fall for these older men as promiscuous. If the girls or women reject the advances, they label them stupid and foolish. Also, the burden of divorce often falls on the woman where they claim she never played her role or she was after material benefits.

Kenyan men view their women as sex objects

Renee says Kenyan men view women as sex objects,

Kenyan men hate their women. A phenomenon that is unique to this country. Their women are sex objects, evil by definition, and best done away with.

Lastly, Renee Ngamau ends by saying,

Look at main stream media. Look at the slant given to stories such as the murder of Jacob Juma and Willie Mwangi. Look at the content of the most popular radio and TV shows. Look at social media. Compare the number of great stories of advancement by Kenyan women and find me one that does not imply that her success has not broken her home or made her a worse mother. Show me a story about a woman who has done something great and the interview does not include inane questions about her private life. Res ipsa loquitor. Kenyan men do not love, cherish, respect or protect their women.  Prove me wrong.

Written by George Githinji

Githinji is passionate about devolved governance, public finance and cycling. He comments on topical socio-political issues in Kenya. In addition, he manages the @UgatuziKenya platform.

Follow Me → @Epic_Kenyan

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5 thoughts on “Do Kenyan Men Love, Respect and Cherish Their Women?”

  1. Kenyan men have no love. They use you, control you, and move on to their next target. I dated a kenyan man. I’m south African. Never again! Kenyan men are bad news ladies!

  2. The so called Kenyan woman is no longer that. They have been easily shaded and changed. They imitate the so called western woman, which suits them NOT. They are fake and pretentious. And this is not genuine, leading to loss of respect and acknowledgement.

  3. I do not agree that Kenyan men hate their women. The basis of my argument is that hate is too strong a word that it really saddens that it is being thrown around irresponsibly. Patriarchal societies, like ours, undermine women, but that does not mean they hate them. Instead, I would say, our society disrespects women. A LOT!

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